Then Bob tripped over a corpse that someone had left on the middle of the sidewalk in their haste. "Yes!" screamed Bob. "The tides are turning! If I hadn't tripped over this corpse I wouldn't have found this slimy green stuff that looks like food." Then Bob ate the slimy green stuff and found out that it tastes bitter. "Yuck!" said Bob, and then he heard someone coming. He turned around and saw that a group of hippies was coming. It was a different group than before because New York is filled with hippies. You know how they call Seattle "The Rainy City" and they call Chicago "The Windy City" and they call Philadelphia "The City Of Brotherly Love?" Well, they call New York "The Big Apple," because there are a lot of hippies there. Anywho, when the hippies saw Bob eating the slimy green stuff, one of them said, "Hey, man, look everybody, he ate our dinner." Then a different one said, "Groovy!" Then the first one said, "No, man. It's not, like, groovy. Now we're going to have to, like, kill him, man!" Then they all took out guns and ran towards Bob. Bob just stood there, saying, "How are you today, my friends?" That was when Bob was supposed to die, but the hippies tripped over the corpse too. Bob was upset now. He really wanted to play with his newfound friends. He started to cry, and continued to walk down the street. Bob felt lonely. No one would even talk to him. A few old ladies laughed at him quite a bit, but no one talked to him. So Bob decided that he was going to move to Arkansas. So he left his cardboard box and stole a butcher knife from the morgue, walked onto a bus, held the knife up high, approached the driver, and said, "I'll trade you this nifty knife for the bus." The driver said, "You got yourself a deal, ma'am." So Bob started to drive the bus to Arkansas. About an hour later, the passengers were getting pretty frustrated, and they were hollering at Bob to let them off. Now this was making Bob very full of stress, something that his doctor (a rabid dog he found in the gutter) told him was bad for his kidneys. So Bob decided that he should eliminate the stress by throwing the fire extinguisher at someone. I mean, what else would one use a fire extinguisher for? Anyway, it got the job done and all of the passengers were quiet, especially the infant that he killed with the fire extinguisher. |