013101
[04:07pm] Oh goodness. I haven't updated in four days. I wonder why? Ohhh yeahhh. My computer was broken or something. I guess it's fixed now. :) I have so many funny little stories and little things from the past four days that you have missed out on because of my connectedness-less self. But I don't have time.

012701
[02:58pm] If only everything in life was like The Breakfast Club. Ah. Wouldn't that be just lovely? I love TBS.
[08:52am] I have been corrected. "Jeana" Graham. Excuse the everything out of me. Anyway. I saw The Talented Mr Ripley last night. That is some whacked-out awesome movie. If that doesn't make you want to have written that book, I don't know what will. I guess I'm just going on a writing splurge these days. Sort of. No matter what I do to myself (uh.. nothing) I simply cannot make myself continue with the Spiderella story. I'll try to continue it later. Ah, procrastination!
Oh. And Jude Law is a hottie! And Matt Damon is not too bad either.

012401
[06:17pm] Jeena Graham. This is stupid but it's funny, I thought.
Plans after high school: Something in mass communication or advertising.
Current job: At pharmacy in Wal-greens.
Favorite vacation: Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
Dream car: Avacado green station wagon (stay-wag, as she called it) with wood paneling.
Leisure activity: Sleeping.

012301
[09:05pm] Jerk.
01: Is the Valentine's Day formal?
02: Yeah, it always has been.
01: I'm new, I don't know these things.
02: You've been here a semester, you're not new.
01: I've gone to a private school all my life, is that my fault? You don't have to be so b    y about it.
02: Okay, you don't have to talk to me anymore.
01: I asked a question and you had to be a b     about it is all.
02: No, don't talk.
01: [continues blabbering about how b    y 02 is]
02: Shut up shut up shut up!! (plugs ears)
[08:32pm] Only been 16 days. Why do I get the help-less urge to redesign? AAAHH!
[06:40pm] Bowling. A friend and I had a conversation about a certain someone she liked.
01: It's not really a crush anymore. I've liked him since 7th grade.
02: Oh, it's more of an obsession, isn't it? Just jokin.
01: Oh yeah. I stalk him.. haha
02: *Sheepish voice* Only every other day of the week.. Okay.. every day of the week except Sunday. Well, every other Sunday. Okay, every Sunday. But NOT Wednesdays. That's bowling.
[06:29pm] Another speech story, Ms (yes, Ms.) Coffey put us with partners and my partner was Chris Price (not spelled that way, but whatever.) We had to learn ten things about them. This will help me remember and I'll enjoy it later if I ever read it again. Plus it's funny for you, as well.
Chris's year: Senior.
Age: Seventeen.
Birthday: May 14 (2 months after mine.)
Birthplace: Minnesota.
Places lived: Minnesota, Missouri.
Sibs: Brother, sister.
Fave color: Brown. (ahaha)
Fave singer: Neil Diamond. haha
Fave movie: Aladdin.
Fave sport: Horse racing.
[06:25pm] Today in Speech we did this thing where you say the first letter of your first name, then "my name is _____", whatever, and then "I am _adj_". For example (in Spanish that's por ejemplo): A, my name is Ashley and I am adorable. Or: B, my name is Becky and I'm beautiful (or bossy.) This kid Nathan said, "N... my name is Nathan.. and I am.. not very good at this game." I cracked up.
[03:51pm] If you say 'did you see' really fast, it sounds like 'juicy'. And off I go to the YMCA! When I get back, I will try and put some stories from school up. I hope I hope I hope..

012101
[04:32pm] I love these people. They do awesome stuff. I am so adding that to my wishlist, which you people can't see. If only you could. If only. A wish.

012001
[08:31pm] I saw Finding Forrester. It was pretty good. It makes me want to be a good writer, but as I told my parents in the car, "I'd like to be a good writer, but I don't have anything to say yet." Which is true. I guess that's pathetic, but I really don't want to waste someone's time while they read my meaningless little book that is all about the words and not about the meaning. But isn't that what blogging is all about?
[07:48pm] Continuing, I don't why I dislike GWB so much. He is charming. He doesn't seem that dense (although he does a little.) He's semi-okay-looking except for his eyebrow. Umm.. Today I drove on a real road! A four-lane road down south of here. My top speed was 45 mph and I honked the horn once, because my dad told me to. So y'all (heh) need to be sooo proud of me. I have graduated from parking lots to isolated stretches of highway type roads. I'll probably be able to graduate to driving from home to school by March 10 (my mom's birthday.) That's 6 Saturdays from now.
[12:42pm] Okay. So George W Bush is the president of the United States. Excuse me. I have to go be bitter in a corner. Well actually, I don't know.. Oh, I'll write more later. My mom is home!

011901
[05:54pm] I'm going through my AIM files still.
Becky: How many milliseconds are in a second?
Joe: 1000.
Becky: I thought a million!
Joe: Not according to the metric system.
Joe: 1 million to the Kilosecond.
Becky: Stupid metric. Don't they know that that is SO out? Losers.
Becky: What's our system called? With inches and stuff.
Joe: The American system or something.
Joe: Who knows.....if it even has a name.
Becky: Hmm.. we rule. Did you know I invented that system? I did.
Joe: Sure. I invented food.
[05:31pm] Ashley and I were talking about Andrew the other day:
Becky: I scared him in the hallway after Algebra. I said his name real soft "Andrewwww"
Becky: And he turned around. I bet he thought I was a ghost!
Ashley: I bet he did (lol) I am for real laughing out loud
Ashley: HA HA
[01:43pm] I dunno if I am done cleaning my room, but I'm gonna scratch it off the to-do list anyway, cuz I hate seeing it there. I did quite a bit though.
[01:12pm] Thank God! I am done with finals, finally! Ha. Anyway. I think I did pretty well on all of them. I'll find out next week. As for now.. I gotta go clean my room because my to-do list hates me and is yelling at me. And then I'll do Psalms 9 & 10.

011801
[06:45pm] I officially did not bonk. Ask Kris! And I weight 154 lbs. At the beginning of school (Aug 25) I weighed 165 lbs. So.. You do the math.
[04:14pm] And in 30 minutes I will be off going to the YMCA to work out extra hard (bikes for 8 min, at least 20 reps of each machine, and on the track: 2½ laps jogging, then either 1 or 1½ laps walking, depending on how tired I am.) Kris is coming with me to see that I don't wimp out.
[06:00am] It is waaay too early to be up, but I am because I have to go to school. I must leave for the bus in 40 minutes. I am tired. I do not have any makeup on. You ask why I sit here then, why not get a move on and get ready? All right. I needed a break from the standing up because my chest is a little congested and I lost my breath from running around the house. I needed a place to sit, and I landed here. Be glad for the update. Now I'm going to run along and get ready for my first MAJOR day of finals. 1st, 2nd, 3rd hour all have finals. 2nd will be stupid because it's weight training. Leaving Biology and History. Both Honors. Ugh. Finals. Again.

011701
[06:03pm] God, yesterday sucked so much. It was that Hardees I ate. It gave me the worst stomachache allll day, but I went to school anyway.. Ugh! I was shivering and sweating at the same time. That has to be on my top five suckiest things list. Not knowing if you are hot or cold. Actually knowing, but not deciding on one to do at a certain time and another during another time. Whatever.
Today was better though. I did not feel sick and I have been reading Teen Angst? Naaah... by Ned Vizzini, which has to be the cutest name ever. TA?N.., as I am calling it now, is such the funniest. The dad is so funny. He may be the second best character. I think I may be developing a crush on Ned. He's such a hottie in all the illustrations. In his little picture in the back, he really looks like this nerdy-nice guy I know, Richard. It's the nose. But really, reading this book, sounds like all my friends. They enjoy studying far too much. I'm a nerd.

011401
[08:13pm] Okay. So most of the dishes are done. Except like two. A big bowl and a big pot. I had to wash a thermos by hand (ugh.) I'm so spoiled but it doesn't matter. I hate washing any dishes by hand. Tomorrow I am going shopping with Kris to get.. well, if you look over at my to-do list, you will see.
[07:45pm] I've decided to redo some of my to-do lists. Ha, isn't that weird? Anyway. I never do anything too phenomenal in one step, so I've decided that I have to put stuff down on my to-do list in increments. Like:
    1. Do laundry.
        ~Wash colors.
        ~Dry colors.
        ~Wash whites.
        ~Dry whites.
        ~Fold.
It is necessary to go into such detail, because I never would get anything done otherwise. Right now, my colors are in the wash. So ha, Dad, if you're reading this. I've gotten an early start on my laundry. Heh heh, laundry won't be at the top of my to-do list forever!!!
[07:36pm] I wanted to let Kris know that she was important to me, so I offered to make a t-shirt for her that I would wear to a guard competition.
Becky: I'll see if I can make a shirt for you.
Becky: And I'll maybe wear it to a competition.
Kris: You should come to the competition at our school.
Becky: If I can get a pic of you I could put it on the shirt.. oooh.
Kris: Oooh.
Becky: With your microcrimped hair and glitter..
Becky: Cool!!!
Kris: It could say "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!" j/k
Becky: And I could "accidentally" get it embroidered "I love my Grandma."
Becky: Or better, "I love my mommy."
Becky: or "Who's yo daddy?"
Kris: Yeah!!!!
Becky: Sort of pervish.. you must admit.
Kris: "Who's yo momma?"
Becky: Maybe I'll use I'm your biggest fan.
Kris: Try "I'm your ONLY fan."
[04:24pm] Two months until my sixteenth birthday. Went to Borders today and got 5 books and a CD. Books: Teen Angst? Naaah... by Ned Vizzini, Girl Goddess #9 by Francesca Lia Block, Violet & Claire by Francesca Lia Block, Have a Nice Life, Start Here by Scarlett McDougal, and Checkers by John Marsden. CD: Best of Blur by Blur (duh).

011301
[06:49pm] I saw Cast Away this afternoon; it was pretty good in my opinion. I didn't like the end very much, but I can live with it. It might stick in my head for a while, but I doubt I will think too much about it. With the exception of hoping "God I hope my plane doesn't crash when we fly down to Miami in May." From Miami, we catch a big ship that will take us to the Bahamas (which island, people ask me.. I have no clue) where I will get a nice tan and golden hair and lovely shimmery shoulders. I'll come back a super-star model. Just you see.
[08:03am] And this one was right before the TWA Dome performance, so it was right around Oct 27 or 28.
Becky: This makes me sad. This will be our last competition for another year.. sorta.
Joe: We won't spend as much time together anymore..
Becky: I know. Less practices.
Becky: No Saturdays.
Joe: What am I going to do on weekends?
Becky: I never thought I'd miss marching band.
Joe: It might help if I had a life...
[07:55am] It's too early. But I still can't sleep too late these days. I got really good at it during Winter break, though. Ah, anyway. Joe and I, after dissing on a stupid English teacher talked about this.
Joe: Did you ever have Mrs. [disclosed for security purposes]?
Becky: No, I never did. Was she math?
Joe: Math and then she taught English...
Joe: She was kinda the same way...
Joe: but a little more smarter..
Becky: A little more smarter? An English teacher's son. Who would have thought?
Joe: I know..
Joe: And I'm talking about a stupid English teacher..
Joe: Shame on me..
Becky: That's okay. My English ain't never perfect neither.

011201
[07:40 pm] Yeah, I'm going through my AIM conversations, so there will be a lot of little snippets like these, so if you don't like it, shut up. Joe and I.
Becky: My parents joked about calling me Ethyl. Chemists joke. (They were chemists when they met.) Like ethyl alcohol..
Joe: I have relatives named Ethyl...
Becky : Hahaha
Joe: Shut up!
[07:12 pm] My cousin and I had a conversation a couple weeks ago, before I got my braces changed.
Becky: Did you know something? I'm not even dressed yet. I'm still in my PJs.
Becky: I should get dressed and stuff.
John: why bother?
Becky: Because I have to go to the dentist at 4:30
John: ah. have fun!
Becky: Get my braces fixed.
John: you have braces?
Becky: I got them Nov 2
John: k.
Becky: And the wire in the back left always comes out and stabs me in the cheek and there's a raw spot there now.
Becky: Not too much info, I hope.
John: sounds like fun...
Becky: And it hurts to eat! Yay! I love pain!
John: who doesn't!?
Becky: Normal people, I guess.
John: yeah, but what's that got to do with us???
Becky: Point taken.
[06:42 pm] I'm just gonna try and let the Kate thing go. Even though she was very mean to Rob, she said some ridiculously uncalled for things. He was provoking her, sort of, though. He was pretending to pour soda on her head and she overreacted and went insane, calling him a darn goose, among other things.
And I'm also tired of her talking about Kyle. "Blah blah blah, Shannon's gonna hook me up.. Gurgle gurgle.." Listen, for once. No talk for you.

011101
[07:59 pm] I have another example. The lockdown.
Exhibit B - Kate on the bus this morning: "Do you know the story of the lockdown?" I said yes. She began telling it to me anyway. I told her that I had already heard the whole thing. "Don't go around telling it. Jackie got called up to the office yesterday, and I think that I feel it a little more than everyone else, because she's my teammate." Okaaaay.. She's varsity, and you're JV. Don't be stupid. Just because you play the same sport doesn't make you soul mates.
"It's not anyone's business, so you shouldn't talk about it. If someone asks if you know, say yes, but don't tell." Sort of like you asked me and I already knew, but you decided to blabber to me anyway? Yeah. Thought so.
[07:17 pm] She just did not need to go around breaking hearts. Sometimes I don't think she knows how many people she hurts by her words. She thinks that because they've hurt her (slightly less hurting than her words are doing) she can just say whatever mean thing she wants. I disagree.
[05:08 pm] Kate today just got on my nerves. I'm sorry, but there are just too many contrasting pieces of her for me to deal with. I'm not even gonna post some of them because they affect certain people who might read this.
Exhibit A - Kate on the bus in the morning: "I don't wanna do track, but I think Dueker is gonna make me. Long distance running is the most boring thing in the world. I can do it, like if Coach Love tells me, 'Run three miles', I can do it, but it's sooo boring."
Exhibit A - Kate on the bus this afternoon, after being all jerky with Rob: "I can't wait for track. It's so much more fun than basketball." (Even though she has versions of "I love basketball" written all over her notebooks.)

011001
[08:21 pm] My friend Joe, whose mom is a teacher, informs me that they knew where the dad was. He was driving around the school.
[05:02 pm] I found out what the lockdown was for. Turns out that a kid at the middle school had a fight with his dad, and the dad got so mad that he said something very bad and someone thought he was going to kill the kid and some others. The school didn't know where the dad was, so they had a lockdown, just to make sure. That freaks me out. The kid's sister is in my school. She's a senior on the basketball team. Her name is Jackie.
[01:17 pm] I went to school this morning. The biology test that I had been hoping on getting a B or C on, I just know I aced it. And then I went to weight training, thinking "I don't want to dress out, I just want to be lazy and sit around for an hour." I actually got to do that because Roth (the teacher) in that class had to do appeals. Appeals (if you don't know) are when people are absent too many days, and they are being threatened with getting their credits taken away, so the people go to the office and make up excuses (or lies) about their absences. I guess Roth was filling those out and didn't want to deal with us bugging her, so we just sat around in the weight room.
Anyway, Dr Bob (our principal) comes on the intercom and says, "Excuse the interruption but I'd like to ask teachers to lock their doors. We're going under a lockdown now. Students, we will still be holding classes as usual, but no one is to leave the building. Thank you." And so we finished class thinking "What could it be, bomb threat? Guns? Killer bees?"
And then the very next announcement on the intercom came with a beep and every person in the room was like shhhh!! Everyone hushed and then my name came over the PA system (that I should report to the office) and I had to explain to everyone that I had to go to the doctor (which was the case.) I told my mom this and she laughingly said, "Your reputation is forever ruined."

010801
[08:33 pm] Closet update. PS, check out my to-do list. Do I not rock or what? I rock! I plan, and then I do. Except that I still have to fold some towels and put them in the linen closet and also put my sheets back on my bed.
[05:54 pm] Gave our Algebra presentation (ha! overstatement for papers taped to a red poster-board background.. shoddy graph included) today with Andrew and Crystal. After we were done talking about shot put, we just stood there for about 10, 15 seconds not saying anything, not knowing how to end it. Getting a little bored, I said perkily (sounding very ditzy as well) "And that's it!" And walked away, leaving Andy and Crystal to deal with the board. It wasn't very heavy. I'd carried it up to the board before. I'm thinking A's galore.

010701
[05:26 pm] At church this morning, Pastor Rick gave an altar call for people in the church who feel like they are going to commit suicide soon and he laid hands on them. One of the people at the altar was this big guy with red hair, who always dances and claps his hands during singing. I would have never thought him suicidal, and I cried in church because.. I was so dumbstruck. And I went to the bathroom to wash my mascara off.
[03:07 pm] I made this layout, and then visited some sites, and I realized that this layout looks a lot like slimgirl, and I probably subconsciously did copy off of her, but as I sometimes say, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery." And she'll probably never know anyway, calapitter is so remote from the highest celebrities of the internet (the part of it that I care about, anyway.)

010601
[11:23 am] I have a dog picture fest here, if you'd like to see. There are eight pictures in all. One, little Rosco just looking towards me with big sad eyes. Two, Rosco saying "Play with me." Three, Rosco just being as cute as doggily possible. Four, Rosco being lazy and lying on his side. Five, Rosco trying to get my attention by getting very close to me. Six, Rosco getting even closer. Seven, Rosco looking up into the flash. Eight, Rosco running around and playing.

010501
[09:10 pm] I wore my beautiful white sweater to school today. It was cool. If you say that fast, it sounds like "twas school". I got back some standardized test scores today. The Plan test is a pre-ACT test. It's out of 32. I got a composite score of 24, so that's like a 27 on my real ACTs, and I'm gonna play some ACT games on the computer. Jamie at my school said that she heard of this ACT game that guarantees to boost your score 3 points or your money back, so I'm gonna try that. I really want Bright Flight. I really want a 30. Anyway, on the test, I was in the 98th percentile for all 10th graders in Missouri. So I am smart.

010301
[04:26 pm] My house is cold.
Joe: I swear.. at Homecoming.. which is when I first noticed how beautiful she was.. she was the most gorgeous girl there (besides you, of course..)
Becky: *smiles, clicks File, Save*
Joe: lol

010201
[04:12 pm] Hmm, I wonder where my mom is. I have discovered what bothered me about being at Kate's house. Having to be thankful for things that I was used to having. No, strike that. Having to pretend to be thankful for things that I was used to having. Such as the Welch's sparkling grape juice. It's really not that fancy, but in Kate's world I guess it is. She solemnly told me, "It's really expensive. The good stuff." Whatever. I was happy to be there, but it is just a completely different place than my home.
[03:47 pm] My mom will be getting home in about 15 minutes to take me to the dentist to get my braces fixed. I should take off my silly earrings. Joe and I talk:
Becky: I wanted to rearrange my sock drawer today, too.
Becky: God, I'm a loser.
Joe: You are not a loser, you're awesome, dead sexy.
Becky: Rearrange my sock drawer? I'm SO stupid! Actually, it's the combination-of-socks-and-underwear drawer..
Becky: But that's irrelevant. Any rearranging of drawers is very stupid and should be done in quiet secrecy. :)
Joe: I keep my socks and underwear in the same drawer, too!
Becky: After rearranging I won't have to put some of my million pairs of underwear in my clothes drawers. Sometimes I do that and I get to school and find a sock in my sleeve or something.
Joe: In first grade... I found a pair of underwear stuck in my pants...
Becky: lol
Joe: that was so embarrasing...
Becky: At least you are past that stage!
Joe: Said who?
Becky: lol
Joe: I am... past that stage...
Becky: Thank goodness.
Becky: I'm not.
Joe: What would you do if I wasn't?
Becky: Probably be forced to start a club. :)
Joe: lol
Joe: If you do start a club...
Becky: What would we call the club?
Joe: then I want to join it...
Becky: Secret Underwear Carriers?
Becky: That's sort of dumb..
Joe: Hanes Their way....
Becky: lol
Becky: Hanes Our Way
Joe: That's better...
Joe: lol
Becky: It sounds teamlike. :)
Becky: And for secrecy, it could be abbreviated HOW.
Joe: Who else would be in it?
Becky: I hope not too many people or we have a school full of freaks.
Joe: We're pretty weird, you know that?
Becky I wonder if everyone goes through this stage?
Joe: Well, we certainly do...
Becky: We haven't finished yet.
Joe: That's the truth...
Joe: I found a sock in my pants the other day...
Becky: I was just imagining going through the airport and you have a mysterious lump in your shirt.. And you'd be like "It's not a gun, it's my underwear!"
Joe: lol
Joe: You crack me up.
[11:11 am] I was looking at my index cards (my notes) from last year's Geometry and it's in really sloppy handwriting. And the definitions are stupid. My definition for opposite rays was something like "shared endpoints of opposite rays" or something odd. Anyway, a lil convo between Ty and I.
B: How many drugs was I on when I wrote this crap? [wait a few seconds] [quietly] Zero..
T: Five.
B: Five drugs?

010101
[03:26 pm] My to-do list stands as: do dishes, hope her gift comes, paint nails and toenails, call Ashley, read the Psalms, sleep, put groceries away when Mom gets home, finish rewriting geometry index cards.
[10:41 am] Happy New Year! (How many times will you see that today?) My to-do list stands as follows: do dishes, hope Kris's Christmas present package comes soon, paint nails and toenails, finish laundry (?), call Kate, call Ashley, call Kris, read Psalm 5, read Psalm 4 over again, try to see a movie maybe, and sleep more.
I went over to Kate's house yesterday for New Years, planning on spending the night, which I didn't expect to be a big problem. But for some reason, I just cannot sleep at her house. I always leave early from sleep-overs of any kind. I had to call my dad at 2:30 in the morning to come get me. I felt so sad and embarrassed that I can't do something as trivial as sleep at someone else's house. I can do it at band camp, it's necessary to do it there. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't beat myself up about it.
Anyway, about during the day of New Years Eve. I went over there at 5:00, and talked about some stuff with Kate, and then Cy and Sue came over. A nice couple that remind me of my grandma and grandpa. Cy and Sue are younger though. There was dinner: salad (which I didn't eat and everyone was asking "all you alright?" and I just was like "I'm fine"), baked potato (which I ate and it was delicioso), followed by prime rib (the finest.) It was the first time that Kate and Sue had ever had it; I had it in Washington DC when I was ten and with my mom on a business trip. It was all very good. Kate said that it was the most formal dinner they had ever eaten. I responded with, "I was glad to be part of it."
The strange thing there was the conversation. At Kate's house, everyone is very Republican, and they hate Dick Gephardt. Cy said that Mr Gephardt was keeping him alive, because he wanted "to live to see that man out of office." Kate's mom said "I just can't trust a man whose eyebrows you cannot see." And then somehow the conversation turned to black people. Cy called them Negroes. How Civil War is that? I instantly had a little less respect for him. He said that in order to be racist, you had to live among them. I'm not sure if he meant "them" to be racists or black people. He told the story of when he used to live in downtown St Louis, where he ran his little store, and how he had to carry a pistol on his hip every day. I guess it could be true, but maybe he was exaggerating or something. And he made it sound like he was "the victim of black people." Whatever.
Kate's mom had even set up a little tiny Christmas tree in a side room that had little black people ornaments on it. They weren't hanging like with a noose around their neck, but it seemed odd to have a Christmas tree about that. She had attached cotton to the branches, probably some note toward past slavery or something. She called it her "colored people tree". Colored people? Why did I suddenly get the feeling that it was 1860 all over again?
I love her family and all; they were very nice to me. They have some wonderful family traditions. Kate's mom writes everything they do on a calendar during the year (mostly it's stuff like "Farmington rendezvous" or "Went to flea market" or "Kate's volleyball game" or "Freezing rain, no school") and then they go over the whole calendar and remember it all. I could only sit back and watch while they recounted memories that I held no part in, and that made me miss my family. Another tradition they have is once they all say "Happy New Year" to each other, they'll break out the sparkling grape juice (Welch's, "really expensive stuff" according to Kate) and have a toast to the past year and another toast to the upcoming year. Then they'll run outside and shout "Happy New Year" to the neighbors, spend about two minutes watching fireworks and then everyone comes back inside to the warmth of the home. It's very wholesome. (I'll write more later. I gotta go have breakfast, it's 11:15 am.)

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