112503
[7:32pm] How I longed all day today to just be home. And I'm not. I hate Arkansas with the passion of a thousand flaming suns, especially because it keeps beating my car up. Stop breaking my tires, AR!! So tonight Carolyn and I watch "Runaway Jury" at 10:10 and tomorrow I dash to Walmart (somewhere) to get my tire fixed, and then I drive home, whee!! Then I'll see Joey and Kristen and my family and things will be swell. Sweller than they are now. But it's okay, for John Cusack awaits.

112303
[10:36pm] Hmm. Carolyn is playing "Cell Block Tango" off of the Chicago soundtrack and I was reading RyFo's blog, and it's making me miss winterguard so much. I'm gonna have to figure out sometime to work out, because no winterguard + eating = not thin anymore. The problem is that this semester was the semester from you-know-where and it afforded me no time to do anything. Honestly, if there were a guard here, I don't know if I would be on it; I'm not sure how I would manage; all the homework + guard = no life otherwise. At least now, if I slack a little, I can have a social life (even if it is a weak one.) I can't wait for the next 42 hours to be over. I just want to go home. I miss my Joey so much, and Kristen will be coming home too, so I'm overjoyed and ultra-expectant. Plus my family is always excellent -- and I can't wait for turkey and mashed potatoes. God, I'm so hungry. Sigh: I ate at like 5:30 and I'm STARVING again. It's exhausting being me. My weekend was good, though; let me see if I can remember. I've had problems with putting things in chronological order recently. Friday for Carolyn and me was to be known as Debacle Day: part one was the bank, for her, and part two was Walgreens, for me. Debacles. Then we rushed back and Drew and Zach and Carolyn and I went to Chick-Fil-A which may be my new favorite, and then we watched LOTR and took turns French braiding everyone's hair (everyone but Zach, whose hair is too short). Then yesterday Carolyn and I slept really really late, but ate dinner with Matt and Ke and Laura, and then Matt and Laura went to do work, and Carolyn and I joined Drew and Zach again to watch Labyrinth, play pingpong and pool, and get coffee. Then Laura joined us on our run to Blockbuster to pick up Spinal Tap, which we viewed in Matt's room shortly after. Then Carolyn and I watched Bambi, ate breakfast, and went to sleep. We got up in time for dinner with Matt and Daniel with the Perfect Eyebrows and Zach and Zach's roommate, whose name I can't remember.. and Olivia and Tobias. Then we left and I did homework for a long time.. Things get a little weird on the weekends, but I'm so tired, I'll be fine after tonight's sleep. I'm exhausted. Here I go.

112103
[1:27pm] Yesterday was one of those days where no matter how hard you spin your wheels or pump your legs, you can't get anywhere. It was for me, anyway. It was like one of those dreams where you run and run but you're not going. So I think I got a C on my Calculus test, probably because I gave up on the studying, but more likely because I suck at evaluating integrals. Sigh. Calc III here I come. Today is a better day, though. I think the better day started last night with dinner: I got my mashed potatoes that I had been craving for years, because it was Thanksgiving style food and it was tasty as anything. I had as follows: turkey of course, mashed potatoes, banana, strawberry-banana yogurt, Dr. Pepper, a bun roll thing, and a slice of chocolate cake (but I gave most of it to Laura because she was looking lustily at it.) Then I sat around, not doing homework for a while, and we (DebDeb, Matt, Carolyn, Laura, me) watched MST (the alien one!! HAHAHA). Then Drew and Laura and I hit the Wendy's and sat in his car til 12:15, and then we all went back to our rooms. I sat around playing on Amazon for a while, and then went to sleep. Tha end. Oh, but Calculus today was okay.. and then lunch.. and off to Search.. and then the real fun begins: Walgreens, clean room, laundry, talk to Joey, make Drewbie a collage, and then go watch Lord of the Rings II. WHEE!

111903
[5:55pm] Have any of you ever cried in a library? A moment ago, trying to get caught up in Calculus AND study for the test tomorrow AND worry about themes and the research paper that looms impossibly large on the horizon AND Search AND Spanish nonsense that I don't even care about.. It all got far too much. So I took a step back and thought, "What will happen if I stop studying Calculus now? I didn't study for the last one and I got an 82%. Or whatever I got. I didn't study for the Search test and I got a 95%. (Never mind the 87% on the thesis paper.) I just can't make myself keep doing this. I give myself little breaks but it's never enough! I just need some real R&R time.
[1:37pm] In order to tide you over until things settle down, a visual presentation. Savor it, make it last.
 

 
 
 
 

111703
[7:03pm] Carolyn reads an email from her dad: "I took the boys hunting and we got one duck." So cute.
 

 

111403
[3:04pm] Today is my 3/4 birthday and I can't get happy. I mean, yay, of course, Joey is coming tomorrow! But until then, happiness eludes me. I might've just made up that word, I feel like that constantly (like I'm making up words, words that I always knew before that they existed). I just got back from Search where Woodhull asked this girl Laura (not MY Laura, a different one) what she thought of Tyreisias (spelling is definitely off there), and this girl absolutely NEVER knows what is going on. Woodhull wouldn't leave it alone though.. but later she asked Matt something and he was like "I don't know" and that was that. She moved right along. Matt always knows the answers, I wonder what's wrong.
   Yesterday was insanity. I came back to the dorm from Daily Themes and gave myself 5 minutes to lie down on my bed before I went to Spanish but the 5 minutes turned into a trip to Sonic and then 2 hours during which I watched "As Good As It Gets". Stress made me feeble. After that I went to the library to catch up in Calc, and not understanding Calc made me have a breakdown: until I went to Java City, where Laura bought me a blueberry muffin. Then I sat there until 10:30ish, and then I went back to my room and realized that all my Calc homework was STILL due Friday, and none of it was done. So I got working, and kept working until 2:00, when I finished all that could be done, and then I went to Jenn's room to take her and Carolyn (they were "studying" for a Psych test) some Thin Mints. I stayed there til 2:45, then I took a shower and went to sleep at about 4:00. This sleeping pattern will have to change if I take Calc III at 8:00.
   The thing with Calc III is that it's only 3 hours, and supposedly it's much easier than II. But I'm still petrified. I have a meeting with my advisor/Calc II prof in 15 minutes to see whether I should take II again or III. I'm not sure which I'm rooting for: II is at the same time as I'm taking it now, MWF 11:30-12:30 and R 11:20-12:20. 4 hours. But it wouldn't be as hard since I took it this semester, too. But III is at 8:00 AM. Lordy Lordy. Calc at 8:00??? I don't know how successful I'd be. The sleeping patterns would have to change. Other classes I'm looking at: Why Hitler? (Hist 105), Intro Fiction, Economics 101, Logic, Poly Sci, Span 301, Span 302, Intro Sociology, Topics in Chem, Intro Poetry, Early Modern Philosophy. The Intro Fiction is taught by Schottenfield, who is supposed to be one of the best profs in the nation at this point, or something. So.. we'll see what we end up with.

111103
[10:37pm] Antigone says (actually, Creon says): Of successful lives, the most of them are saved by discipline. This may be true, but I and growing to resent discipline more and more. I crave relaxation and recreation. I yearn to sit around and not read academically. I had an epiphany today, though, while reading Antigone. It was something along the lines of: "I should WANT to read this. This is why I'm at college, right? To gain knowledge?" So I went about it as though I wanted to read it. And it made it far less painful and questions for Search spouted much more easily. And then I learned that Monday's cancelled common session was only postponed until Wednesday and that reading Antigone wasn't as pressing as I thought, and I pulled out all my hair and died of frustration. Oh well. No reading til after Friday. WOOOTIE WOOT! In Daily Themes, it took me closer to 3 hours to write about 2 pages double-spaced about young people in Ivory Coast, in Africa. I should care. I should. Woodhull called us Generation Y and I think that's really appropriate because I am always asking myself that these days: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?? It's annoying to have so much.. questioning. I will present you will some photos.
 

 
 
 

111003
[8:22pm] I really resent all this homework I have to do. Look on the bright side, though: I just wrote a theme on the Dave Sedaris essay in this week's NYer. I rock and roll.. all night.. Sweet Susie! Unfortunately, tomorrow's theme is about the Ivory Coast: WHO CARES??!?!?!?! Certainly not moi. I made a killer CD today though: it consists of Aerosmith.. oh.. I just realized that I don't want to type all that nonsense out. Sigh. I will, later, though. I gotta.. do homework!!! Curse the world!
[1:20pm] Hallelujah! Search is cancelled! Wooooot!! Umm, I had a really good weekend, got to do what I wanted, which entailed spending time with Joey and eating lots of scrambled eggs, bacon, and Thin Mints. Hmm.. maybe I'll skip Spanish today, since there's a test tomorrow and today will just be a review.. I totally have the subjunctive DOWN, baby. I think I'm gonna go lie DOWN, baby.

110703
[1:42pm] I'm just about off to Search, but I had to share these pictures with you kids, because you've been very good this week and deserve a treat.
 

   
 
 

110603
[12:37pm] I'll feel so much better--or worse, depending on how the presentation goes--in about 2.5 hours. Either way, I don't really care; I just want to have the stupid thing over and done with. I've been trying to get all my homework for the weekend done early--I'm going home this weekend, so I won't be doing it at home, probably. WARNING: THIS NEXT PART IS SOOOO BORING! Left to do: maybe write one theme, finish my notebook write-up for Calc, read Search for Monday and write questions. Of course, I still have classes and stuff. Today: 1-2:30 Daily Themes, 2:35-2:45 Calc presentation (VOMIT out of scaredness--but with much apathy), 3:00-4:00 Spanish (the homework for Monday I've already done haha!). Tomorrow: 11:20-12:20 Calculus (whose homework I've already done too!, but I still need to tweak the notebook write up, as previously mentioned), and 1:50-2:50 Search (whose reading I've already done, but will have to read for Monday and write Qs.) I'll have to write some themes over the weekend, but I don't really mind if the articles are any better than they were this week----arghhh!!! Enron + Iraq = borrring. Whatev. Back to sleep I go.

110503
[7:09pm] Oh yeah, and did I mention that everyone is going to see the Matrix tonight? Everyone but me. I hate academics. I'm going to drown my sorrows in pudding or something.
[7:04pm] Arghhh. My pi approximation thingy isn't going as well as I'd hoped.. and I present it tomorrow at 2:40, directly after Daily Themes. I feel so stupid. The only consolatory thing is that everyone is having trouble with it, but I also feel stupid because I was given a chance to write in DT about something I was interested in, and I chose something that I thought would be interesting, but.. I'm still so undecided. Why can't I do anything right? By the way, I hate the Spanish subjunctive, but at least that submits to my dominion. Anyway.. back to the subjunctive, Herotodus' histories, pi approximation / differential equations, and maybe just a little theme-writing, but probably not.

110403
[5:27pm] I have been spending my evenings in the library recently, after I discovered (thanks to Matthew) that the carrolls have internet ports. HALLELUJAH!! This is like heaven for everything: it means I can go to the library for hours on end and do my homework and remain connected to my family and friends while I do so. Also, it's good for Carolyn and I if she wants to watch TV. It's totally a blessing, and I'm quite happy. Well, relatively. I'd be a lot happier if there were less work. I'm having SO much trouble figuring out Mathematica. GRARRRRRR!! Looks like Barr and I will be spending some quality time together. Oh well. I'm taking Calc II next semester again anyway. I've pretty much decided, since I feel like I'm faking it this time through, but I'll ask Barr to see what he thinks. Plan for tonight: eat dinner with some people, and retreat to the library to write Thursday and Friday themes (I was so good, I wrote MTW's themes last night), study REALLY hard for Calculus, and then delve into the wonderful world of Herotodus. Wheeeee!

110203
[2:19pm] All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night Laura and I went to Olivia's and watched Nightmare Before Christmas and played with Olivia's 11 cats and 1 dog. Then we came back to the dorm and watched Besieged.. hmm.. a little too artsy for me. Then yesterday, I slept til roughly 1? 2? Whenever. Then Laura and I ate lunch, and Carolyn and I had a second lunch, and watched That Thing You Do until Jenn and Ryan (Jenn's Kansas friend) came for us to go downtown with them. We went to the Peabody and saw the ducks and we went to the Rendezvous and had some terrific BBQ (but terrible service). A quick wander through Tower Records, and then onward to the movie theater: we were going to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the 2nd time for me), but about halfway through, Carolyn leaves, and 10 minutes later, Jenn leaves. So Ryan and I leave as well, and we all go back to Jenn's room. I wore Ryan's Halloween police helmet and we laughed over the photo booth pictures we took at Tater Red's (this place on Beale). After sitting around for a while, we went to Matt's room until 2:30 am and then we just came back and went to sleep. Plans for today: whip out some themes, get my Calculus in order, NOT study for the Search test tomorrow, and talk to my Joey and my Kristen.

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